And if you are hungry now and too boned for the kitchen, get a jump start to taming the hunger with 69 men from 16 movies serving up 51 loads with no cooking required.
2) Bagel Chips
“Cut a bagel in half and bake each side in the oven for 10 minutes at 325 degrees. Make sure you stand in front of the oven while you’re baking and focus all your energy on the bagel — it will stop you from running outside and screaming, “I NEED SPERM NOW!!” while pointing at your hungry, hungry mouth.”
Despite what we have heard, according to FoodBeast, semen doesn’t have significant concentrations of protein or calories.
1) Apple with Peanut Butter
“Even though your mid-morning snack usually consists of all that jizz, give an apple with peanut butter a try! It may not be as fresh as your man’s stuff, but this other protein-packed snack will give you the energy you need to get through the workday. That is, until you can munch on some more penis drool!”
The hell with protein shakes or multi-vitamins. The best way to get your recommended daily allowance is to cook it up at home.
4) H2O With A Lime Wedge
|We all know humans aren’t hydrated unless they’ve had their two liters of spunk every day, but a glass of H2O can sometimes help to temporarily hydrate you. Add a lime for taste, even though it will never come close to the delectable flavors of your man’s penis barf. You’ll just have to wait for a real live penis to grace you with some reject spermatozoa!”
5) A Handful of Pistachios
“These fan-favorite nuts are flavorful, filling and best of all will curb your insatiable craving for some afternoon delight! The activity of de-shelling your pistachios will keep you busy until you can lock down some more of those tasty swimmers!”
3) Pomegranate Seeds
“This snack is for those of you who have to get through a WHOLE DAY without swallowing splooge. Slice a pomegranate in half, and eat the seeds out with a toothpick one by one. This snack will take you probably all day to finish. Your pomegranate distraction will keep you going until you can finally get your mouth on nature’s other, better cock nectar!!”
However, Recutress acknowledges, “Sometimes your cravings for cum get intense, but don’t worry, load lovers! Here are five snacks to tide you over when you’re desperately craving the scrumptious taste of dick hole excretions.”